How did Lyme disease bring me to this point? For many years I have felt compelled to write a blog. It sounded cool. I never did, though, because I thought, “what do I really have to say, that others would want to listen?” Seriously, what do I have to offer? My life is not exciting, eccentric, nor am I a master of any trade. I’m smart, but I don’t remember half the info I learned in school, I’m Christian, but am no minister or spiritual leader! I can’t even quote the Bible… I’m just a hot mess.
So, why am I starting a blog now? What’s changed? Who’s gonna listen to my foul mouth ramble on about my life? Honestly? I still don’t know for sure. Something kept bringing the idea back to the front of my thoughts… No matter how much I tried to push it away or dismiss it. I realize now, God was telling me to stop being a self conscious sissy, tip my hat down, and have faith in Him. I could tell, he wanted to work through me… and I was so scared to let him. At that point in time, my faith was not strong enough for me to trust this plan. At all.
Early one morning I was laying in bed on the tail end of nursing a 12 hour migraine. Orlando had already left and had taken our girls to school and BAAM! My brain just started flowing! My head was flooded with thoughts and words. It felt like something from a movie scene where the math genius character has a well planned montage and all these numbers start visibly floating and moving around his head. Then we, the viewers, begin to see the equation to come together and make sense….Finally, I realized…. I am not the only one out there trying to make it through life! There are other mothers trying to keep their shit together too! I am not the only one who has struggled with her faith. Thousands of others are suffering from debilitating illnesses! Consequently, like everyone else, I have a story to tell!
How did Lyme disease bring me to this point? It has brought me from deep depression, hating life, and being angry at the world… and God, to accepting my condition and rekindling my faith. Since that one morning, I have realized it has been called on to my heart to relate to others who are suffering from chronic illness. Although it feels like it, we are not alone.
I won’t lie, I’m still not 100% sure how this blog will pan out. My plan is to share things I learn as I move through my health’s journey; share my experiences, stories, and helpful tricks I’ve picked up along the way. I also hope to offer some encouragement, and some humor along the way. Sometimes we just need to laugh at the shenanigans Lyme throws at us. You know, like on those days where you forget how to get home, and drive around lost. Or those times where your motor functioning is off and you accidentally run into a stone wall… Don’t worry, I hurt my ego more than my truck…
We all know this is going to be a very long, sometimes painful, burdensome, and exhausting journey, but I know there will be light and the end of this storm.